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  • Ashy Akakpo

I'm Just Dreaming

Updated: Oct 9, 2020

I remember you. I try not to – but I do.

And each time you break through this wall, I crumble,

Denying these feelings are really true.

I don’t mean to be ungrateful or to come across distasteful because I’m not

But every time I see you – I feel this chasm, tie, tightly, into what feels like a knot.

I can’t help but watch you, stare at you from across a room

Wishing you’d stare at me too, and I wonder if what I’m feeling

This nauseous, giddy feeling – isn’t true.

Isn’t because of you.

Maybe it’s the ice cream I had or the people I’m around.

Maybe it’s the noise in the background or the way I seem to drown

Every time you come around, smile and talk with me.

You smile, and I can’t help smiling. You laugh, and I can’t help laughing.

And when my phone goes off I can’t help but wish

You were the one asking, ‘are you free today?’

You seem distracted, not by me but by everyone else

So now I wonder – if the attraction in my head was real

If the feeling I feel is mutual still.

Because I’m scared.

I’m scared that the feelings I thought you had, are now dead.

And I feel like I’m treading on eggshells

Pretending you don’t exist, because I don’t want to shoot my shot

Knowing I’ll miss.

And for this, I wish you could tell me

That you feel the same way

I’m feeling.

But you won’t. Because every time you stand close to me

And we have a moment.

I feel this feeling.

But as soon as I hold my breath – I wake up.

And then I realise




#poetry #feelings


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